It has taken hold this morning. After weeks of: ‘looking forward to’ and ‘doing my need-to-do list’; this morning I got ‘oh no, what am I thinking!’ and ‘I can’t do this’. I’m a bit scared.
The first part of my travel is with my family in the UK and this is not scary at all. The second part, I’m on my own, off to Spain. I’ve traveled a fair bit on my own by now and even to scary places for me like Sicily and Naples but always as a tourist, never have I needed to achieve something that’s a challenge for me, alone.
This is my empty credential that will be stamped to mark my progress along my camino, walking the 116 kms from Sarria to Santiago de Compostela.
I have been doing the work my end by training hard, jogging and walking nearly every day for weeks. As I see it, my camino started in January this year, I’m already 3 months in! But, in the face of this, this is fear number 1. Blisters, sore, aching feet, wet feet, stiff knees, unable to walk, take the bus, a sad fail. The forums and threads all talk about needles and plasters, and wool, and compeed, and arnica and and and…
Then I look at the maps and detailed information and I start to panic further.
For example, this picture shows where my accommodation is one night in relation to the actual walk path! Apparently I just ‘call a number for pick up when I am ready’. There is some logistics involved in that phrase. I know I could try to change accommodation but I think I will face this and perhaps it will be wonderful and I’ll be so pleased I just did it?
Can you see in the pale fine print following the letter i in the picture below? That there are no facilities for 7.4kms past this cafe,… that must mean no toilet for 7.4km! I am a 48 year old woman that has had 2 big babies many years ago! (I’m feeling like a big baby myself at the moment).
I asked the question about toilets and furtive peeing behind bushes on a closed group camino page on facebook and all the trolls came out to play. Apparently I am representative of the devolution of humanity for being so dumb I don’t know how to pee in nature, also, had I considered just going to Benidorm and leaving the camino alone. Hmmm, I’m unsure how to react so don’t say anything but now know that is not a safe place to ask questions.
There are maps with the terrain and hill climbs…(knees, knees knees…)
This is the best map of all. Where I will complete the camino part of my journey. This is the image that excites me. (Maybe by then it will sadden me as all this training and planning comes to a close??).
And then a bit of fun exploring some of Spain before I leave the country. I don’t think I’ll get to most of what I have circled but it’s all up for grabs.
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.